ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
