Im at strip club and am horny
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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