I molested 6 butterflies tonight
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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