i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
