Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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