Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
