i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
