I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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