I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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