he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize