Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
