does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
