The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
