just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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