I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
