I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
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I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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