So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
thus making me awesome and them whores
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
