Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
