no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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