The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
