I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
