Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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