I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
my mouth tastes like poor choices
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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