Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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