Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
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