my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Randomize
