I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
