Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
When did angry sex become our thing?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
