just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
