Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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