I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
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