brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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