Are we in a gay sports bar?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
