Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
