Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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