I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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