I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
