She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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