You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
