I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
