what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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