He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
