whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Quick, to the slutcave!
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
