i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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