If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize