i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
