Ambien. No doubt about it.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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