my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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