dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
