It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
