census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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