Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
