To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
