when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize