At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
