Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
