do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
