boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
