I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
