can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
